Nearly all game reviews end with a summary and a number. Reviewers do all that writing but in the end their review gets boiled down to a single number. I’ll be honest, when I read a review I’m as likely to skip to the summary and that magical number as I am to read the full article. The biggest problem with the numbering system is that they usually don’t outline what those numbers mean, which is pretty damn crazy. One person’s 8 could be another person’s 4. Plus, the numbers are always boring. Someone writes this big long article and most people will just jump to that boring and often generic number. It’s a shame.
Well, I’m going to change that. For the next few months I’ll be doing more reviews than before and I don’t want to fall into that same old boring trap most reviewers fall into. Bellow you’ll find an outline detailing what each number means. I am rather certain that I’m a lot pickier when it comes to giving out 9s and 10s but a bit softer hearted on my 7 and 8s. Then there are the numbers themselves.
You can call it a gimmick if you like but plain numbers are just so damn boring. If I have to put number at the end of my review I want it to actually be interesting, so that’s what I did. It took a while but each of the ten number different. Now I feel I won’t be so passive aggressive when putting a number at the end of my reviews.
From 1 to 10
If a game gets a 1 score well, then that game is the living embodiment of game based poo. Imagine if the Atari game ET fell in love with the Mario Brothers movie and had an illegitimate love child and that child’s poop was made into a game. That would be a game worthy of a 1.
I’m reaching here, it’s hard to fill the gap between worst game ever and a “finished” game that makes you feel like your money would have been better spent by helping out some Nigerian Prince. If I ever find a game that fits into the 2 category, believe me, I’ll rewrite this whole thing. I’ll probably also want to gouge out my eyes so I’ll never have to see that game again.
At this point we are moving into vaporware territory. The game probably had some potential but was total and utter crap. This rating would cover early access games that were interesting in concept but the game maker took the money and ran without finishing the game.
If I’m giving a game a four then the game wasn’t finished. To be honest if it got a four I didn’t spend much time with it because the first hour was so bad I couldn’t deal with it. Still, that being said the game description was probably compelling but the game makers failed at making a game that was anything like they said it was supposed to be.
A five is kind of bad. The game didn’t play like it should and had very few redeeming qualities. At this point the game may have an interesting concept but the execution is horrible.
If a game gets a six that’s okay. The game is probably still fun or has a unique concept, but there are some flaws, either the game doesn’t work as expected or it fell short on utilizing a system or fully utilizing the games core concepts
A game with a seven hits all the right buttons, it works like it’s supposed to and has an element of fun. There is of course some wiggle room. If a game has some design flaws but manages to execute their concept well then the game would balance out to be a seven.
A game that manages to get an eight is doing pretty good for itself. It must have solid game mechanics, little to no glitches, or at the very least glitches that are not noticeable. The game also manages to convey its story and game mechanics in an enjoyable way.
A score of nine is an impressive feat. Not only is the game well created, meaning no software or mechanics issues, but creates an immersive experience from start to finish. I know, it’s a bit of a cliché but a game at this level has an ineffable quality that just can’t be nailed down.
If a game got a score of ten then a whole new era of gaming has arrived. A ten would be for a game that I thought was near perfect and was a ground breaking game, either the pinnacle of a genre or a game that created a new definition of what a game genre is supposed to be.